Suicidal Thoughts

Laura from Border Flowers bravely opens up about living with suicidal thoughts and feelings, and offers words of comfort to those who may be going through something similar.

I have thought about posting this subject a lot but it’s quite a big one to talk about. I don’t want to shy away from the truth about how I feel.

The last year of my life has been a tough one. My first negative thoughts were around February 2020, or at least that was when I recognised I wasn’t feeling very well. Since then, my mind has been on a rollercoaster of emotions, especially through the winter months. Luckily I had support, help, love and guidance from professionals, family and friends. 

I am naturally a very open person, so I feel this has helped me push through the suicidal thoughts by being able to communicate them. Only recently I have been able to talk about the content of the thoughts but what a relief when I can get it out in the open and see the reaction of my friends. No judgement just love. 

I am very thankful for having so many caring people in my life which gives me so much to live for. 

Yes the suicidal thoughts scare me, and to be honest, I’m never really sure when they will go away. Dipping in and out of my life as if they are welcome. They are not welcome. I am striving to get better and be the best person I can be, for myself and my loved ones. Sometimes it is so hard to do when you are under the thick black cloud and you feel like you only have one option. 

That is not your only option. Life is worth living, there are so many things to learn and enjoy. Whoever you are, you are special and you can move on from this with a better mindset, you can thrive and do anything you put your mind to. Don’t be afraid of who you are. 

If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings or feel that you are in crisis and need urgent help, please click here .