Summer holidays and “keeping cool” 

Written by Chris Graham (views are employees own)

You know it’s that time of year, when wellies and winter coats go to the back of the wardrobe and out come sunglasses, suncream and swimming costumes. School’s out for summer, on Friday 19 July 2024 until Wednesday the 4th of September, which means a lot of free time for our children. 

  • 1/3 of parents say the school holidays leave them feeling stressed 
  • 47% of parents worry about thinking of things to do with children. 
  • 1/4 of parents say they feel exhausted 
  • 52% of parents say the cost of taking children out for activities causes them the most stress during the holidays. 

School’s out: A short guide to managing summer holiday stress – Vita (vitahealthgroup.co.uk) 

Every year the summer holidays creep up on us. It feels as though we didn’t see them coming.  One moment they are away at school, learning and playing with their school mates, then next: they are in the house, bored with nothing to do. Your parental workload escalates to “stretch pressure” trying to structure their time. The arguments begin, with you and between themselves. Your helpful stress bubble bursts so you feel “strain pressure”. As parents, the most important thing you can do is keep your cool. Easy to say, but if you are feeling worked up, reacting with anger just gets the situation worse. Social media can be awash with your parent friends, posting pictures of their perfect summer. It’s hard not to compare yourself to them, especially if you’ve spent the day listening to your children quarrel. Babbu, an app for parents, asked its subscribers about parenting over the school holidays and 72% of respondents said they had felt overwhelmed. 

Let’s imagine that before the summer holidays, you have been experiencing good Mental Health. You are feeling good about yourself, able to perform well at work. If negative thoughts appear, they are brief and easy to dispose of, resilient during difficult times at home. You connect deeply with your family and can cope with the normal stresses of life, Now the school summer holidays have arrived. Things have changed: you are experiencing poor Mental Health. These changes bounce between mild to moderate in intensity. You may feel you, as a parent, you are letting your kids down. Those negatives thoughts don’t go away. Adapting your parental duties is difficult. Your reservoir of resilience is draining away, so you are less able to couple with those normal stresses of life. Think of poor Mental Health as situation specific: school holidays. It is also time limited: they will go back to school. Parental burnout may appear: a prolonged response to longer lasting and overwhelming parental stress.  

What is burn out?.  

In Mental Health UK’s report: The burnout report, burnout is not in itself a Mental Health condition, neither is it stress. I would suggest burnout is when good Mental Health has changed to poor Mental Health. The report explains that burnout isn’t confined to the workplace; it can pop up from pressures around parenting, particularly during the summer school holidays. 

Common signs of burnout, according to Mental Health UK, include: 

  • Feeling constantly tired. 
  • Helpless, trapped and detached. 
  • Having a negative outlook. 
  • Experiencing self-doubt.  
  • Procrastinating a lot.  
  • Feeling overwhelmed. 

Their survey found that public awareness and understanding around burnout is common. When asked to identify the symptoms of burnout, 93% of UK adults correctly identified some symptoms of burnout, while 63% mistakenly identified at least one symptom of anxiety instead. Whilst most adults feel able to manage stress in their lives, almost 1 in 4 adults feel unable to do so.  

Parents with children were on average 4% more likely than those without children to experience high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the past year. 66% of parents felt more able to manage their stress levels than non-parents, depending on the number of children within a household: 73% with one child, 74% with two children, while just 62% of those with three children or more in their household felt able to cope.  

Is parental burn out, more likely, during the summer holiday period? 

When asked about the factors in life which may have contributed to burnout in the past year, the majority of working adults pointed to poor sleep, money worries and feeling isolated. A significant proportion also highlighted ‘caring responsibilities’ (34%) as factors which have contributed towards burnout in the past year. 

Whilst many parents will be looking forward to spending time with their kids every day, some have multiple commitments such as work or caring responsibilities that can leave them feeling a little burnt out. 

Dr Emma Svanberg, author of Parenting For Humans, told HuffPost UK https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/parental-burnout-search-term-rises-in-school-holidays_uk_64d1fe50e4b03c1d73904dd0    there are overlaps between burnout and parental burnout as they share that same sense of overwhelm and exhaustion. 

There are also some more specific signs of parental burnout to watch out for, such as: 

  • Exhaustion in your parental role. It’s that kind of tiredness where it doesn’t really matter how much you sleep, you still wake up in the morning feeling super tired.  
  • Noticing your parenting has changed. It is different to how you would normally be as parent. Instead, you feel fed up with your parenting responsibilities. You feel like you’re not being the parent that you want to be anymore,”. 
  • Emotional distancing from your children. You might emotionally withdraw from your kids because you feel “trapped” because you cannot  physically withdraw from them. 

BBC bite size https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zx64r2p highlight six tips to unwind or catch up on some ‘life laundry’ as your children learn and have fun over the summer holidays. 

  1. Boost your mental wellbeing: Being in the right frame of mind is important for children and parents alike. Children can pick up on a stressed parent. Exercising with your children can become a fun way of breaking up your day at the same time as getting rid of some of their excess energy, to help them play calmly.  
  1. Create a parent “support network”. Many parents can’t afford to send their children to summer school or hire childminders, so informal arrangements with the people around you can really help. Arrange with other parents to share responsibility for hosting each other’s children on different days. 
  1. Check out local summer schools and playgroups. They are a great way to keep your children occupied, entertained and learning throughout the summer holidays. Check out any summer activities they’re holding as well as any other local tutoring clubs. This gives you time to focus on your other responsibilities during the day. 
  1. Get your child to do a reading challenge. Reading is a fun activity that your child can do alone, giving you a bit of quiet time to focus on other things. Set a reading goal with your child of six books over the six-week summer break.  After reading a book, encourage your child to write a book report explaining what happened, who their favourite characters were and drawing a picture of a scene. You could create a book chart with your child and add a gold star for every book read, eventually giving them a small prize once they reach their goal. You might want to investigate the Reading Agency’s Summer Reading Challenge or explore a creative writing challenge like the BBC’s 500 Words. 
  1. Visit local attractions. There’s so much to explore in our local areas. Many libraries, museums or galleries have free activities and classes for children over the summer. Grandparents can take them on a trip to give you some room. These are ways to get out of the house and explore your surroundings whilst learning about history, geography, science and art.  
  1. Encourage children to keep a diary. Keeping a summer diary is not only a great way to preserve memories, but it’s also a tool that will help your children to articulate their thoughts. The free writing nature of diary-keeping will also inspire creativity when describing events or activities. This could take your child 15 minutes or even an hour, giving you some time to cook dinner or have a moment to yourself. 

Young Minds says it is important that as parents, that you support your children to self-care. It gives them a chance to step back and put themselves first. Self-care is different for every child. What works for one, might not work for someone else. Self-care is just the little things your children can do to look after themselves. It could mean making time to do an activity that you know makes them feel good.  

The important thing with self-care is not what it looks like, but what it does for them and how it makes them feel. When it comes to self-care it’s not one thing, it’s your thing”. 

Young Minds recommend preparing your children for summer holidays. For some children, it’s a stretch of boring days, with little to do and few highlights. For some, they may be stressed about school breaking up for summer and the lack of routine this provides.  

  1. Go green. Think about all the green spaces there are locally and what activities go on during the break. Become a photographer. Take photos of your local area on a phone or camera. 
  1. Explore the local community. Explore the local leisure centres, youth clubs and recreation grounds. What about ‘free swim’ days put on by the local council? 
  1. Find a library. Research which libraries are open and when. Is there free access to computers?  
  1. Volunteer. Find out about local youth groups where you can volunteer – this is a good way of making new friends www.iwill.org.uk/get-involved/young-people 
  1. Take on a challenge. Here are some ideas for activities that will take time and practice to accomplish: Learn to ride a bike, swim, roller skate.  
  1. Keep in touch. Explore how to keep in touch with classmates over the holiday. Arrange meeting up once a week at the local park or shopping centre. 

I am part of the training team at Mind, that deliver Mental Health First Aid training workshops in Cumbria,  On Friday 26 July, Mental Health First Aid England, office and phone lines are closed until Monday the 5th August, allowing all their 100 staff to take a summer wellbeing break and have some time out to rest well. They are a social enterprise determined to walk the talk and lead by example. Company wellbeing breaks can make a huge difference. More and more organisations of different shapes and sizes embracing this concept. 

Why are wellbeing breaks important? 

When we go on annual leave, we are generally handing the baton over to others in your team. There will often be reminders about what’s going on via social media platforms. When you take a wellbeing break, it feels very different. The whole organisation closes, which means there’s no one to pass the work on to. With no one working, there’s less temptation to check your emails. You can truly switch it off without worrying about a long to-do list to catch up on. There also isn’t any pressure to plan anything, unlike annual leave, which is often taken ‘to do something,’ a wellbeing break allows people to rest.  

I and the team at Carlisle Eden Mind, hope you have an opportunity to take some time out, disconnect and rest over the summer period. 

You know it’s that time of year, when wellies and winter coats go to the back of the wardrobe and out come sunglasses, suncream and swimming costumes. School’s out for summer, on Friday 19 July 2024 until Wednesday the 4th of September, which means a lot of free time for our children. 

  • 1/3 of parents say the school holidays leave them feeling stressed 
  • 47% of parents worry about thinking of things to do with children. 
  • 1/4 of parents say they feel exhausted 
  • 52% of parents say the cost of taking children out for activities causes them the most stress during the holidays. 

School’s out: A short guide to managing summer holiday stress – Vita (vitahealthgroup.co.uk) 

Every year the summer holidays creep up on us. It feels as though we didn’t see them coming.  One moment they are away at school, learning and playing with their school mates, then next: they are in the house, bored with nothing to do. Your parental workload escalates to “stretch pressure” trying to structure their time. The arguments begin, with you and between themselves. Your helpful stress bubble bursts so you feel “strain pressure”. As parents, the most important thing you can do is keep your cool. Easy to say, but if you are feeling worked up, reacting with anger just gets the situation worse. Social media can be awash with your parent friends, posting pictures of their perfect summer. It’s hard not to compare yourself to them, especially if you’ve spent the day listening to your children quarrel. Babbu, an app for parents, asked its subscribers about parenting over the school holidays and 72% of respondents said they had felt overwhelmed. 

Let’s imagine that before the summer holidays, you have been experiencing good Mental Health. You are feeling good about yourself, able to perform well at work. If negative thoughts appear, they are brief and easy to dispose of, resilient during difficult times at home. You connect deeply with your family and can cope with the normal stresses of life, Now the school summer holidays have arrived. Things have changed: you are experiencing poor Mental Health. These changes bounce between mild to moderate in intensity. You may feel you, as a parent, you are letting your kids down. Those negatives thoughts don’t go away. Adapting your parental duties is difficult. Your reservoir of resilience is draining away, so you are less able to couple with those normal stresses of life. Think of poor Mental Health as situation specific: school holidays. It is also time limited: they will go back to school. Parental burnout may appear: a prolonged response to longer lasting and overwhelming parental stress.  

What is burn out?.  

In Mental Health UK’s report: The burnout report, burnout is not in itself a Mental Health condition, neither is it stress. I would suggest burnout is when good Mental Health has changed to poor Mental Health. The report explains that burnout isn’t confined to the workplace; it can pop up from pressures around parenting, particularly during the summer school holidays. 

Common signs of burnout, according to Mental Health UK, include: 

  • Feeling constantly tired. 
  • Helpless, trapped and detached. 
  • Having a negative outlook. 
  • Experiencing self-doubt.  
  • Procrastinating a lot.  
  • Feeling overwhelmed. 

Their survey found that public awareness and understanding around burnout is common. When asked to identify the symptoms of burnout, 93% of UK adults correctly identified some symptoms of burnout, while 63% mistakenly identified at least one symptom of anxiety instead. Whilst most adults feel able to manage stress in their lives, almost 1 in 4 adults feel unable to do so.  

Parents with children were on average 4% more likely than those without children to experience high or extreme levels of pressure or stress in the past year. 66% of parents felt more able to manage their stress levels than non-parents, depending on the number of children within a household: 73% with one child, 74% with two children, while just 62% of those with three children or more in their household felt able to cope.  

Is parental burn out, more likely, during the summer holiday period? 

When asked about the factors in life which may have contributed to burnout in the past year, the majority of working adults pointed to poor sleep, money worries and feeling isolated. A significant proportion also highlighted ‘caring responsibilities’ (34%) as factors which have contributed towards burnout in the past year. 

Whilst many parents will be looking forward to spending time with their kids every day, some have multiple commitments such as work or caring responsibilities that can leave them feeling a little burnt out. 

Dr Emma Svanberg, author of Parenting For Humans, told HuffPost UK https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/parental-burnout-search-term-rises-in-school-holidays_uk_64d1fe50e4b03c1d73904dd0    there are overlaps between burnout and parental burnout as they share that same sense of overwhelm and exhaustion. 

There are also some more specific signs of parental burnout to watch out for, such as: 

  • Exhaustion in your parental role. It’s that kind of tiredness where it doesn’t really matter how much you sleep, you still wake up in the morning feeling super tired.  
  • Noticing your parenting has changed. It is different to how you would normally be as parent. Instead, you feel fed up with your parenting responsibilities. You feel like you’re not being the parent that you want to be anymore,”. 
  • Emotional distancing from your children. You might emotionally withdraw from your kids because you feel “trapped” because you cannot  physically withdraw from them. 

BBC bite size https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zx64r2p highlight six tips to unwind or catch up on some ‘life laundry’ as your children learn and have fun over the summer holidays. 

  1. Boost your mental wellbeing: Being in the right frame of mind is important for children and parents alike. Children can pick up on a stressed parent. Exercising with your children can become a fun way of breaking up your day at the same time as getting rid of some of their excess energy, to help them play calmly.  
  1. Create a parent “support network”. Many parents can’t afford to send their children to summer school or hire childminders, so informal arrangements with the people around you can really help. Arrange with other parents to share responsibility for hosting each other’s children on different days. 
  1. Check out local summer schools and playgroups. They are a great way to keep your children occupied, entertained and learning throughout the summer holidays. Check out any summer activities they’re holding as well as any other local tutoring clubs. This gives you time to focus on your other responsibilities during the day. 
  1. Get your child to do a reading challenge. Reading is a fun activity that your child can do alone, giving you a bit of quiet time to focus on other things. Set a reading goal with your child of six books over the six-week summer break.  After reading a book, encourage your child to write a book report explaining what happened, who their favourite characters were and drawing a picture of a scene. You could create a book chart with your child and add a gold star for every book read, eventually giving them a small prize once they reach their goal. You might want to investigate the Reading Agency’s Summer Reading Challenge or explore a creative writing challenge like the BBC’s 500 Words. 
  1. Visit local attractions. There’s so much to explore in our local areas. Many libraries, museums or galleries have free activities and classes for children over the summer. Grandparents can take them on a trip to give you some room. These are ways to get out of the house and explore your surroundings whilst learning about history, geography, science and art.  
  1. Encourage children to keep a diary. Keeping a summer diary is not only a great way to preserve memories, but it’s also a tool that will help your children to articulate their thoughts. The free writing nature of diary-keeping will also inspire creativity when describing events or activities. This could take your child 15 minutes or even an hour, giving you some time to cook dinner or have a moment to yourself. 

Young Minds says it is important that as parents, that you support your children to self-care. It gives them a chance to step back and put themselves first. Self-care is different for every child. What works for one, might not work for someone else. Self-care is just the little things your children can do to look after themselves. It could mean making time to do an activity that you know makes them feel good.  

The important thing with self-care is not what it looks like, but what it does for them and how it makes them feel. When it comes to self-care it’s not one thing, it’s your thing”. 

Young Minds recommend preparing your children for summer holidays. For some children, it’s a stretch of boring days, with little to do and few highlights. For some, they may be stressed about school breaking up for summer and the lack of routine this provides.  

  1. Go green. Think about all the green spaces there are locally and what activities go on during the break. Become a photographer. Take photos of your local area on a phone or camera. 
  1. Explore the local community. Explore the local leisure centres, youth clubs and recreation grounds. What about ‘free swim’ days put on by the local council? 
  1. Find a library. Research which libraries are open and when. Is there free access to computers?  
  1. Volunteer. Find out about local youth groups where you can volunteer – this is a good way of making new friends www.iwill.org.uk/get-involved/young-people 
  1. Take on a challenge. Here are some ideas for activities that will take time and practice to accomplish: Learn to ride a bike, swim, roller skate.  
  1. Keep in touch. Explore how to keep in touch with classmates over the holiday. Arrange meeting up once a week at the local park or shopping centre. 

I am part of the training team at Mind, that deliver Mental Health First Aid training workshops in Cumbria,  On Friday 26 July, Mental Health First Aid England, office and phone lines are closed until Monday the 5th August, allowing all their 100 staff to take a summer wellbeing break and have some time out to rest well. They are a social enterprise determined to walk the talk and lead by example. Company wellbeing breaks can make a huge difference. More and more organisations of different shapes and sizes embracing this concept. 

Why are wellbeing breaks important? 

When we go on annual leave, we are generally handing the baton over to others in your team. There will often be reminders about what’s going on via social media platforms. When you take a wellbeing break, it feels very different. The whole organisation closes, which means there’s no one to pass the work on to. With no one working, there’s less temptation to check your emails. You can truly switch it off without worrying about a long to-do list to catch up on. There also isn’t any pressure to plan anything, unlike annual leave, which is often taken ‘to do something,’ a wellbeing break allows people to rest.  

I and the team at Carlisle Eden Mind, hope you have an opportunity to take some time out, disconnect and rest over the summer period.